Maidenhead candidate ‘Lord Buckethead’ DABS at election result
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Count Binface, a fringe candidate for the Mayor of London, has recently attracted a growing following. The “intergalactic” competitor, although currently polling at one percent, is giving other parties a run for their money seemingly without lifting a finger. The increased interest in the Count has generated massive online support, with many people pleasantly surprised by his manifesto.
Who is Count Binface?
Count Binface makes up an integral part of British democracy as one of the more eccentric figures vying for office.
The Count started as another beloved candidate, Lord Buckethead, an “intergalactic space warrior” who resembles the science fiction character Darth Vader.
Lord Buckethead was the original creation of American filmmaker Told Durham, later adopted unofficially by Mike Lee in the 1980s and 1990s, and eventually Jonathan Harvey, a comedian, in 2017.
Mr Harvey ran in Theresa May’s constituency in 2017, earning him viral fame.
However, Lord Buckethead’s creator reclaimed him, and Mr Durham relaunched the character in the hands of David Hughes.
Mr Harvey responded by creating a new character, the much-loved Count Binface, who opposed Boris Johnson in his constituency in 2019.
What is in Count Binface’s manifesto?
Although he is, in many cases, a parody alternative to establishment parties, people have found themselves drawn to Count Binface’s manifesto.
The Count has a 21 point plan to entice Londoners, some of which will have widespread appeal.
And, if implemented, they could even help solve several of the capital city’s problems.
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His policies include:
- London Bridge to be renamed after Phoebe Waller.
- Hammersmith Bridge to be repaired, and renamed Wayne after the former England international footballer.
- Croydon to get a facelift, ironically.
- No shop to be allowed to sell a croissant for more than £1.
- Free parking between Vine Street and The Strand (for electric vehicles only)
- HS2 protestors to be allowed to build their tunnel at Euston, all the way to Birmingham. To be followed by a second tunnel that links Birmingham to Manchester
- Finish Crossrail.
- At Trafalgar Square, Sir David Attenborough to be placed on the Fourth Plinth. Or a statue of him. Either’s fine.
- Speaker phones on public transport to be banned. Offenders to be forced to watch the movie version of Cats every day for a year.
- London to join the EU.
- All government ministers’ pay, including the mayor’s, to be tied to that of nurses for the next 100 years.
- Loud snacks to be banned from theatres.
- The Trocadero to be turned back into a truly top-notch video arcade.
- Piers Corbyn to be banished to the Phantom Zone.
- I will create a Smart Speaker’s Corner, replacing the usual nutters who stand around at Hyde Park Corner with state-of-the-art technology that (a) understands the Earth is round, and (b) will perform a fart sound on command. The current incumbents can only do the latter.
- On one day every year, escalators on the Underground to be reversed, encouraging travellers to go up the down escalators and down the up ones, as a free gym and Gladiators simulator all in one.
- Mask-wearing in public to be encouraged, during the pandemic and beyond.
- The Royal Family to keep one of Buckingham Palace, Kensington Palace, St James’ Palace and Clarence House, with the rest gifted to the nation to help eradicate homelessness. If the royals complain that one palace isn’t enough, they will be forced to buy Crystal Palace FC.
- The hand dryer in the gents’ toilet at the Crown & Treaty, Uxbridge, to be moved to a more sensible position.
- Traitors’ Gate to be reopened for business, and to welcome Dido Harding on Day One.
- Ceefax to be brought back for all households within the M25.
A London mayor poll has found the manifesto resonates with Londoners.
While traditional parties Labour, the Conservatives, the Lib Dems and Green have the majority of votes, Count Binface ranks amongst newcomers.
Laurence Fox, who represents his Reclaim Party, allegedly has £5 million of funding and just one percent of Londoners’ support in the latest ComRes poll.
But Count Binface, who claims he has no funding, has the same following.
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